It's just not fair

I don't know if I'm just having a rough day or not. All I feel like doing is crawling into bed and crying and not getting back out. I guess I'm just frustrated with all this trying to conceive stuff. All I want is to be a mommy. Why does that have to be so hard. I miss knowing that I'm growing a little person inside of me. I want to be able to feel the first kick, feel him/her move around inside. I'll take all the negative for the positive that comes in the end. I hate how everyone else seems to get pregnant at the drop of a hat. I'm  1 day late but so far is all been negative tests. I try to talk to Roy but I just can't get the words out. He is absolutely wonderful and has been my rock, but I feel like I'm pulling him down if I am upset and I hate it. I just want to feel normal mentally again. Can I go a whole 2 weeks without crying? I'm afraid I'm almost out of tears.